For my revision analysis I will look at two intro paragraphs from two pieces I wrote from two different parts of the year. One of the main differences in the intro to my reading response and my intro to my joy essay are the introduction of the key players and naysayers. In the intro paragraph to my reading response that was analyzing my note taking between two readings we did in class I didn’t really touch upon the key players and authors involved. They were mentioned briefly but never a main point of focus in the intro paragraph from the beginning of the year. In the second intro paragraph from my joy essay however the naysayer/key players are mentioned. While other perspectives and authors aren’t directly named the skeptic/key player thoughts and opinions are talked about. This is important because these differing thoughts of the topic discussed in the intro paragraph are key elements in my joy essay as a whole. Compared to just briefly mentioning the other authors involved in the reading response intro paragraph I think this shows improvement in the global revision category by trying more to involve other key ideas and perspectives about the topic. Another area of improvement that would be considered more local revision would be the flow of the sentence structure from the reading revisions intro paragraph to the joy essay paragraph. Overall the point of the paragraph as well as the timing of certain thoughts or words is much more strategically laid put compared to the reading response paragraph.
